I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
