Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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