apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
