Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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