You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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