So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
