I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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