Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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