I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Be still, my beating vagina.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
