Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
