Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
