you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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