you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
