dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
