My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
