im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
