OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I wish there were birth control emojis
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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