i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
