so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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