Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize