my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
