so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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