If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
