I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
