so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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