Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize