Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
cat food counts as protein by the way
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
