What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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