I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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