census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
