Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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