I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
