He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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