I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
