does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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