Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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