Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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