I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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