I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
