Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
