Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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