scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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