i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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