I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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