new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
