Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
