woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
