Pappa wants mamma naked
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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