I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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