Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
