i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
