Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
