I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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