did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
