The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
